Day 20 of life in the slow lane with the turn signal on…
Four weeks ago my loneliness and boredom outweighed my common sense and better judgment, and I signed back up for another round of online dating. Evidently, my self-esteem had finally recovered from the last beating it took when I tried to find “Mr. Right” via cyberspace. That, or I’m just a glutton for punishment…only time will tell. I admit that going into this endeavor, my expectations were not very high. After all, since finding myself single four years ago, my track record with men has been dismal, at best. I’ve gone out with a pilot, a preacher, a drummer, an anesthesiologist, a construction worker, a firefighter, a banker, and a former pro wrestler. Most of the dates consisted only of coffee and brief conversation. My longest run was with an Egyptian banquet server whom I met at work. He was a beautiful man who spoke five languages and had an accent that made everything he said sound like a love poem. On the second date he professed his undying love for me and I was convinced he was “the one.” Three months later he returned to Egypt and married his first cousin. Can you say deal-breaker?
My daughter says I’m not having any success because I don’t play “the game.” I told her that I wasn’t aware there was a game, let alone how to play it. She informs me there are rules. I don’t do rules…would rather ask for forgiveness than permission. Apparently, I come on too strong and scare off the would-be suitors. I am supposed to play it cool and act like I don’t care if they call me the day after. I am to pretend that I’m not smarter than the dude, but not act so dumb that they think I can’t find my way out of a hole in the dirt. It’s a stupid game. Of course, it doesn’t help that before finding myself single again in 2007, the last time I went on a date was in 1981. And, to add insult to injury, I now have grown children to contend with. No one should have to date in front of their kids…it’s just wrong!
I think the reason I’ve been unable to find a new mate has less to do with me and more to do with the fact that these men were not being totally honest. They had hidden agendas, secret pasts, and no intention of making any commitment to me until they were absolutely sure there was no one “better” out there. Nevertheless, here I go – again – diving into the deep end of the dating pool. This time I decided to wear a life vest. It will keep me bobbing on top of the water vs. floundering around on the bottom. Maybe this time I won’t fall prey to the “sharks” quite so quickly…
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October 17th, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Love it Mary! Hey, I met my hubby “on line” and back in 2003 it seemed rather new to meet someone “on line”..I imagine I hung my head a bit and mumbled when they asked how I met my beloved. Hang in there. Brian also met Shelly on line. Keep the great entries coming!
October 19th, 2011 at 2:40 am
Well, you met a winner, so hold your head up and be proud…SMILE! THANKS, Donna, for reading and commenting – it’s MUCH appreciated!!!
October 19th, 2011 at 6:28 am
You scared off a (former) pro wrestler? Wow, girl. Hard core!
I always hated the ‘game’ of meeting a potential mate. Lots of ups and downs like a roller coaster. Keep on your knees, sister, because it is God who is in control of your wild ride with internet ‘dating.’
A former staffer of MSC (albeit a young kid) found his fiancee on SovereignGraceSingles… fwiw…
May God’s best and patience be yours!
October 19th, 2011 at 2:03 pm
Yup, and proud of it – HAHA! Trust me, I am being extremely patient, as I never wanna run ahead of God in my life – that’s a battle strategy that fails every time…SMILE! Love you and appreciate your prayers for me as I wait on the Lord…